Molecular_Force's Xanga

Forever

Fri, 16 Oct 2009 04:29:05 GMT

Looking back to all these years, I think to myself "yeah, those were the days". To me it seems "those days" are just like any day I live by, but in reality they're not. My life to this day is runned by the guidelines I followed from the past, but it's not working for me. I'm a grown man now and I cannot handle the truth. Why is it that humans beings cannot realize the fatal consequences until later in the moment? The focus I once had in high school doesn't seem to work as well in college. Am I losing my desire to continue to chase my dreams? I don't want to repeat the mistakes of my past, I don't want to face obstacles that are impossible to break through, I don't want my life to be in control by someone else. I want to be myself.
Nothing is going to change for me at this moment. I'll continue that "normal" patterns I always go through life. I'll never get away from this white walls that enclose me in a sort of box called my room. The world changes around the room, but not me. Where do I fit? What can I do?

Grand!

Sun, 18 Nov 2007 02:29:48 GMT

When I finally installed my new Nvidia GeForce 8500 GT and put back my computer together, the power supply died on me. I came to the realization that the graphics card requires at least 350 watts or higher. My computer's power supply only puts out 300. Go figure....

In the mean time, I'll be using the family computer and my bro's laptop for normal computer usage. Both by the way sucks!

Mindless thinking

Tue, 13 Nov 2007 04:33:21 GMT

My mind been wondering everywhere since I finish the first season of The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya. It has many, many psychology, sociology, mythology, religion, and tons of references that make it such a great anime series. However, it does bring up a good point about my life the more I think about it. Has my life become a life of an ant, who works constantly only to appeal to its queen, not itself? The words I can describe my life only comes from two: dull and gray. Such strong words, yet I do not act upon them as I become even more grayer by the minutes. I feel this world is becoming worst as technology grows, in which human abilities die off, as humans become more dependent on technology to do our deeds. I wish I can alter reality in the blink of an eye as I imagine this world only through thought s of fantasy and science fiction. A child's dream. The dream to obtain magical powers; the dream to find creatures of writer's imagination; the dream to break the laws of physics and fly with swift movements through the air; the dream to meet aliens, espers, and time travelers; the dreams of people who want to escape from reality. Somewhere, anywhere, is a perfect place for me in a dream.

Maybe I'm going insane, but I have my reasons to act strangely. I feel lonely then ever, seeing every college girl having a boyfriend or different agendas than seeing a likeness into me. Homosexuality is not an option for me, nor Bi. I could be a dork for being shy in front of girls. That could be the reason why I never had a girlfriend....or not. I have feelings of wanting to be noticed, cared and loved that hasn't filled the void inside of me. I miss it since I moved from my old neighborhood in Fort Sheridan up here in Antioch. Maybe I should just life with it as I normally do, but may crack my heart in the end if no one cares...

I love/hate college

Fri, 07 Sep 2007 02:40:06 GMT

*yawns* Hey there. You might notice that I haven't been posting up lately, mostly due to college and the huge amount of homework I go through.

Okay, I was lying about the "huge" amount of homework, but college feels like a slug on LSD. Time feels like it fluctuates in most lectures I have to go through. I official hate Precal. and all math related classes. It's always talk about numbers and nothing interesting except, numbers! I guess the only class that keeps my attention is Sociology. My teacher is a fanatic with Star Trek, especially William Shatner. He even has a girl's kiddy bag with the Star Trek: Enterprise on it, making the atmosphere "kiddish". You know you're going to be in for a good hour in his class because he is one of the most humorous teachers in the college I go to. He manages to fit in "get it?" phrases and makes fun of himself. Great teacher, period. Then, there's Chemistry and Engineering Graphics, which keeps the day dragging on. English Composition I is alright, but I sometimes have trouble on some writing assigngments, though the class has some interesting topics. I know what you have read seems a little unorganized, but you probably get the big picture by now. I love/hate college. There's nothing much I can comment about it as I said before.

I do have something I really meant to post here:

CELL PICTURES!
Took me awhile to how to use MMS, but now I can send cell pics through MMS to my e-mail. Here's some pictures from my cell in the period of two years I have been using it.

Looking Down

Icey Grass

Fours Ways to Smile on a Candy Bottle

Bon Bon standing on a Swing Set

Doughboy, meet Blender!

And I saved the best for last...

I always find myself at this one group of vending machines, which is close to the exit where I go park my car. One day, I was getting a soft drink from this group vending machine, particular the one close to the trash cans and I notice this on the Warning Label:

Vending Machine....ATTACK!

"Anti-Theft Device Prevents Obtaining Free Product" = Epic

And feel free to click on the images. They have more descriptions on how I obtain some of these pictures and how I feel about them.

Pulling my strings

Mon, 27 Aug 2007 04:24:33 GMT

My cell phone is getting pretty old, literally. The damn little phone has been with me for already 2 years. What's really nagging me with it is that some of the features are behind, making normal activities on the phone more of a hassle. Take e-mailing for instance: today, I want to send three of my pictures from my phone (because they're taking up space). I sent them to my yahoo account and I left my phone to do it's thing. After letting it do its thing, I check my e-mail to see if I recieve. I didn't see any e-mail sent from the cellphone, so I personally check the screen when it's sending the photos. This is what it came up:
Connection Failed
WTF?!?!>!>?@?!#$>!?%

The week

Sun, 26 Aug 2007 04:23:27 GMT

I guess I don't have many comments about this week, now that Fall classes has started. Its strange to walk in a local college, knowing there will be some familiar faces, but I didn't expect to see such a vast, unfamiliar setting that I normally see during summer. Dozen of faces that I can't remember, with the added problem of remembering people's name and face. That's just me, but I was startled to find someone who was waving for no apparent reason and calling my name. I couldn't recognize the face until she started to spoke. Pretty embarrassing.
There are a couple of people that I miss and others that I dearly miss. There's even one who I wish she didn't moved. And there's one I wish she calls me more often and see how's life been with me. Jeez, it's abnormal have friends who are mostly the opposite sex of me. Go me...

I blown my "engine" and I'm tired in general. Got some homework to do and just go with the flow. I wonder where all this time and effort is leading to.

Peace out....*heads towards his bed*

Last Saturday/Today

Thu, 09 Aug 2007 05:10:48 GMT

Last Saturday
Betson and Konami is at it again: Naperville's Brunswick Bowling Alley (or rather an Amusement Park for all that matters) is holding an testing machine in their arcade section to test out the new Supernova 2 machine. Last Saturday, I got the chance to drive down their and play DDRSN2 and ITG2. As usual, traffic was tedious, and traffic goers were maniacs, but I was a careful driver and made it there. Once I arrived there around 2:45 PM, I notice there wasn't alot of people attending to the SN2 machine, considering it's a DDR game, but more game time for me. I bought my arcade key, an E-Amusement Card, and went off playing on the SN2. I have to admit, Supernova 2 isn't really all that great, seeing that the timing was off. Probably been playing ITG2 too much before hoping on the Supernova 2 machine, but doesn't matter anyway. Other than that, I think the game is fine and Konami should keep the e-Amusement Reader on other music games besides DDR. A group of my friends came later and we we're rocking on the machines, until I have to leave around 9 because it was getting late. I had a great time over there.

Gosh, that day shock me up a lot: WinDEU (Nick) was there! I was just finishing up my round on Supernova and I went to my car to get my bag. By the time I was back in the arcade and was putting my bag next to the SN2 machine and the ITG2, I notice WinDEU talking to couple of his buddies here and there. I didn't really want to disturb him, but let him play and ask him some questions in general about the machines and stuff like that, I was admiring his skill level on ITG2/SN2 as a great ITG/DDR player and he was showing it very well. Wow, full combo and AAAed trim Heavy, full combo and AAed Fascination MAXX Oni, and full combo this 13 footer on ITG2 on doubles. This dude is just amazing to watch and he is a funny guy to talk to. He does some crazy stuff when it comes to mods. =I/

Today
Eh, I went to People's Choice in Waukegan and I found out they got rid of their ITG2 machines, including the dedicated one. Now I'm left with Gurnee's People's Choice, which has a sucky ITG2 converted DDR machine, which I dearly wish it was a dedicated ITG2 machine. I'm having a feeling ITG is falling out of popularity in the northern part of Illinois and I'm wishing there were more machines, but I'm left with Chicago and beyond for all that matters.

Actually, I heard there was a ITG2 machine in Waukegan's Brunswick; I have to check it out tomorrow.

Two more weeks until college starts. Yup, how awesome...*head droops down*

March of the Dancers

Sun, 05 Aug 2007 03:14:15 GMT

Went down to Naperville again to test out the SN2 testing machine. To sum it all up, it was an all day DDR/ITG workout session. I literally played for over 3 hours with me burning up to 2000+ calories. I was exhausted at the end of the day, so I'm not in the mood to talk or walk.. I'll update later on what happen today, but it's time for me to go to sleep. Night.

Roller Coaster

Wed, 25 Jul 2007 02:01:00 GMT

My life has been on a very slow, long trip up the top of the first drop on a roller coaster and I am dying to wait for summer school to finish. I finally finished my 8 page research paper that is due tomorrow, in three days. I'm glad it's not the I-Search Project that I have to face, let alone the daunting task to give a 5 minute speech in front of my classmates as my final. Well, things are starting to calm down more and I feel proud of myself to getting to the top, well, sort of. I got a final in Psychology and it's over chapter 12, that's all. I'm hoping it would be a piece of cake and better get an A on that research paper, because I put a lot of thought and effort into it: I really did! Oh boy, I have to finish up those essays for Music by Sunday and I'm off the hook. This summer break gotta be one of the craziest summer breaks I ever have, but I'm expect Fall to be crazier thanks to 22 credit hours at school, excluding Japanese. I just hope I can fit in a language class this Spring.

I'm currently listening to verre, by TAK. Very complex, but lifting song. Great, beautiful sounds are blended into this song and it's free to download. Who can't resist free downloads? :P

Things here and there

Sat, 14 Jul 2007 05:25:44 GMT

Time sure does fly by as I live a regular daily schedule of going to school on Mondays and Wednesday, and staying home and having free time on the rest of the days. Many things were going on here and there and it seems all of it happen like months ago, but it was just lasy week. Lets take a quick trip down memory lane of past, current, and future events:

-Last Friday, my family went to Ravinia to listen to CSO in the lawn. Very awesome night. I was there not only to enjoy it, but also to use this event as my topic to write up for Intro to Music.

-Went to a friend's going away party last Sunday, which was quite fun but still saddening as days go by before she moves to Florida. I wanted to spend time with her more, so me and my sister took her to Six Flags on Tuesday and I payed for most of the meals and items for them, but also rode most of the rides; *cough* I couldn't ride Vertical Velocity because I have to go to the restroom while in line. I think I payed about 60+ dollars on that day. Then I took my friend to this free jazz gig down in Libertyville and she definitely enjoyed it. I also enjoyed it, though I have to write an essay about this gig for Intro to Music as well.

-College tutition is starting to pile up as I progress from 18 credit hours to 22 credits hours. 22 credit hours = 1500+ bucks! Jeez, I really woke up into reality with this kind of expense and that's just for one semester in all the classes I want to be in, excluding Japanese. I better get a job soon; better yet, look for more scholarships.

-I'm planning a trip down at Napperville again with an old buddy of mine to check out the DDR SuperNova 2 Testing Machine. He'll still have to check his schedule for next week, but he's hoping both of us would go. I just wish the beatmania IIDX machine was still there. D:

-Next month after college is done for the summer, I'm planning to go to Omaha, Nebraska for a big music game festivial against some of the best players in Midwestern region on beatmania IIDX and hopefully some other games I'm good at. I'm know who's my partner in crime, but I need to straighten out lot of things by next week in order to be sure that I can attend this event.

-Eh, all this jazz is making me fatter by the days. Maybe a little DDR or walk around town would help a little. I haven't played DDR in ages or even some beatmania IIDX thanks to moving out the TV from my room and some unexpected things in my parents room, nethertheless I still need to workout.

-And yeah, I just recently bought Gran Turismo 4 and the game is amazing. For one week, I played it non-stop (well, I did study when I took a break from playing) and got close to 50% completion on the game. I currently have 68 cars in my garage, including a Formula GT car. I think the only reason why I bought this game is because of photo mode and it is probably the best feature in the game by far. My photo taking skills are par, but I like time at the time being. I have a lot of photos in my possession as of right now:
Amuse Carbon R

Nissan 350Z LM Concept Car

Nissan Skyline M-Spec

Nismo 270R

Formula Gran Turismo (GT)

Mine's Skyline V-Spec N1 (Best Overall Photos!)

All of these pictures can be viewed at at my Gran Tursimo 4 Photo Album

EditeD: Noticeably big pictures: resized the pictures to fit in the page. :)