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| Looking back to all these years, I think to myself "yeah, those were the days". To me it seems "those days" are just like any day I live by, but in reality they're not. My life to this day is runned by the guidelines I followed from the past, but it's not working for me. I'm a grown man now and I cannot handle the truth. Why is it that humans beings cannot realize the fatal consequences until later in the moment? The focus I once had in high school doesn't seem to work as well in college. Am I losing my desire to continue to chase my dreams? I don't want to repeat the mistakes of my past, I don't want to face obstacles that are impossible to break through, I don't want my life to be in control by someone else. I want to be myself.
Nothing is going to change for me at this moment. I'll continue that "normal" patterns I always go through life. I'll never get away from this white walls that enclose me in a sort of box called my room. The world changes around the room, but not me. Where do I fit? What can I do?
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| When I finally installed my new Nvidia GeForce 8500 GT and put back my computer together, the power supply died on me. I came to the realization that the graphics card requires at least 350 watts or higher. My computer's power supply only puts out 300. Go figure....
In the mean time, I'll be using the family computer and my bro's laptop for normal computer usage. Both by the way sucks!
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| My mind been wondering everywhere since I finish the first season of The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya. It has many, many psychology, sociology, mythology, religion, and tons of references that make it such a great anime series. However, it does bring up a good point about my life the more I think about it. Has my life become a life of an ant, who works constantly only to appeal to its queen, not itself? The words I can describe my life only comes from two: dull and gray. Such strong words, yet I do not act upon them as I become even more grayer by the minutes. I feel this world is becoming worst as technology grows, in which human abilities die off, as humans become more dependent on technology to do our deeds. I wish I can alter reality in the blink of an eye as I imagine this world only through thought s of fantasy and science fiction. A child's dream. The dream to obtain magical powers; the dream to find creatures of writer's imagination; the dream to break the laws of physics and fly with swift movements through the air; the dream to meet aliens, espers, and time travelers; the dreams of people who want to escape from reality. Somewhere, anywhere, is a perfect place for me in a dream.
Maybe I'm going insane, but I have my reasons to act strangely. I feel lonely then ever, seeing every college girl having a boyfriend or different agendas than seeing a likeness into me. Homosexuality is not an option for me, nor Bi. I could be a dork for being shy in front of girls. That could be the reason why I never had a girlfriend....or not. I have feelings of wanting to be noticed, cared and loved that hasn't filled the void inside of me. I miss it since I moved from my old neighborhood in Fort Sheridan up here in Antioch. Maybe I should just life with it as I normally do, but may crack my heart in the end if no one cares...
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| *yawns* Hey there. You might notice that I haven't been posting up lately, mostly due to college and the huge amount of homework I go through.
Okay, I was lying about the "huge" amount of homework, but college feels like a slug on LSD. Time feels like it fluctuates in most lectures I have to go through. I official hate Precal. and all math related classes. It's always talk about numbers and nothing interesting except, numbers! I guess the only class that keeps my attention is Sociology. My teacher is a fanatic with Star Trek, especially William Shatner. He even has a girl's kiddy bag with the Star Trek: Enterprise on it, making the atmosphere "kiddish". You know you're going to be in for a good hour in his class because he is one of the most humorous teachers in the college I go to. He manages to fit in "get it?" phrases and makes fun of himself. Great teacher, period. Then, there's Chemistry and Engineering Graphics, which keeps the day dragging on. English Composition I is alright, but I sometimes have trouble on some writing assigngments, though the class has some interesting topics. I know what you have read seems a little unorganized, but you probably get the big picture by now. I love/hate college. There's nothing much I can comment about it as I said before.
I do have something I really meant to post here:
CELL PICTURES!
Took me awhile to how to use MMS, but now I can send cell pics through MMS to my e-mail. Here's some pictures from my cell in the period of two years I have been using it.
Looking Down
Icey Grass
Fours Ways to Smile on a Candy Bottle
Bon Bon standing on a Swing Set
Doughboy, meet Blender!
And I saved the best for last...
I always find myself at this one group of vending machines, which is close to the exit where I go park my car. One day, I was getting a soft drink from this group vending machine, particular the one close to the trash cans and I notice this on the Warning Label:
Vending Machine....ATTACK!
"Anti-Theft Device Prevents Obtaining Free Product" = Epic
And feel free to click on the images. They have more descriptions on how I obtain some of these pictures and how I feel about them.
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My cell phone is getting pretty old, literally. The damn little phone has been with me for already 2 years. What's really nagging me with it is that some of the features are behind, making normal activities on the phone more of a hassle. Take e-mailing for instance: today, I want to send three of my pictures from my phone (because they're taking up space). I sent them to my yahoo account and I left my phone to do it's thing. After letting it do its thing, I check my e-mail to see if I recieve. I didn't see any e-mail sent from the cellphone, so I personally check the screen when it's sending the photos. This is what it came up:
 Connection Failed
WTF?!?!>!>?@?!#$>!?%
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